A Letter To The Love of My Life

Dear Bentley,

Words cannot even express the love I have for you. Somehow, despite the fact that we are different species, and we can't talk, I somehow feel like you understand the deepest parts of my soul. I remember the day we first met - you were really little, and awkward. And so was I. I sat down on the floor and among your brothers, you were put on the floor also. You darted right up to me and threw yourself in my lap and I just knew. It was love at first sight. Waiting a few weeks to bring you home felt like an eternity, and yet, finally. the day arrived and we were officially united - best friends till the very end.

I was anxious and nervous; suddenly I didn't have just myself to take care of anymore - I had you too. You cried the first few nights; I wanted to cry too. I would sleep next to your kennel on the floor, and I would poke my hand in through the bars to try and calm you down. And then I gave you Bullseye, the stuffed animal horse from Toy Story, and you would snuggle up against him at night and sleep like a baby.

I used to be able to pick you up and hold you like a baby, when you were really tiny and small and awkward. When your head was too big for your body and your feet were too large for your legs. You slept a lot too; I don't blame you, being adorable is a lot of work. And with each passing day, somehow I fell in love with you more than I had ever imagined I could. I never knew a person could love something as much as I love you.

And then you started to get big. I all but blinked and suddenly you were the size of a horse! Your fur got longer; your body changed so that your paws were no longer too big for your legs. Your chest got wide and massive, and I couldn't pick you up anymore. Although that didn't stop you from climbing into my lap and snuggling and pretending you were still small.

We have had lots of adventures together; we've taken hikes together, cried together, hurt together, howled together, snuggled together, gone on walks together, held hands and ridden in cars. We've played fetch and chase, and somehow, even though we have done it probably a hundred times, it never gets old. And pretty soon we ditched your kennel and you ended up sleeping in my bed - every night. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Things were perfect and wonderful for us, and then I got sick. And I was tired. And I cried a whole lot; more than I've ever cried in my entire life. Despite all of my tears and sadness, you stuck around. Every time you saw me crying, you were quick to run to me and try to love on me. You would nuzzle under my arm and my neck and remind me that you were there and things were going to be okay. I had spent the last two years taking care of you, but now you were starting to take care of me. You never left my side, not once. You would lie beside me on the couch or up in my bed, or you would sit on the floor near me, making sure that I was never alone or afraid. You would wiggle your nose into my palm, and even though it was kind of gross, your wet nose was comforting. It takes a lot of love, commitment and sacrifice to sit with a girl that is all tears and exhaustion.

Friendship comes from unlikely places, and if you would've asked me five years ago that I would be raising you, I would've said the chances weren't likely. Friendship can exceed the bonds of people; friendship can be found in four-legged, furry friends. You became my best friend in July of 2013, but it feels like we've known each other our entire lives.

I often joke about how you are my "spirit guide", like how Aang has Appa or how Aragorn has Brego or how Harry Potter has Hedwig. You're the yin to my yang and the color to my black and white and the peanut butter to my jelly (I know how much you love that). And I couldn't imagine a world where you weren't in it, because you mean so very much to me. When I'm away at college I find myself crying more about missing you than missing anything else (sorry, family). You have been my greatest investment, my closest friend, my confident and my adventure buddy.

Let's keep having adventures together.

Love always,

             - H

10 Reasons Why I Hate College (and Why You Probably Hate It Too)

Before I get into all of the gory details and rant about why I hate college, I do want to say that I also love college. I love that I'm getting a good education, that I'm making new friends, and that I'm entering into the next stage of adult hood. I love being on my own and being in charge of my future and the life I want to have. But, while I do think college is wonderful and dandy and you do make life long friends there (shout out to all my Aagard girls!), there are some things that just really bug me about college. So, here are my ten reasons why I literally hate college, and why you probably hate it too.

1. Dining Hall Food
Yes, yes, we are all thankful for a school that provides us with food. We are grateful for the people that work for our dining hall and help feed us and take care of us. But, also...dining hall food can literally doom you to the toilet for a solid hour if you aren't careful. Also, did you know it's like, $10 a meal?! Yeah, I just found that out... I could literally buy Chipotle for $10 and it could be used as two meals. Finally, if you can't have gluten and dairy like me, then you are confined to a life of dry chicken and questionable rice... *shudders*

2. Having to talk to ten people, just to get one answer that literally any of them could've given
This is one of the things that is quite possibly the bane of my existence. Have you ever had to go to student life or the registration office or the financial aid office or your counselor's office, just to ask one quick question, and next thing you know, you are taking an adventure around the school to talk to like, fifty different people, only to get one answer that literally any of them could've given you? Yeah, me too. We have all been in this situation, where we waste probably an hour or two of our time, for the most simplest and basic of activities, that could've been answered by any one of the fifty thousand people we talked to, but didn't get the answer from any of them because that's not their "job description".

3. The rule where freshman and sophomores are required to live on campus
I have spent the last two years living in a dorm, and to be honest, I love living in a dorm. What I don't love, however, is the fact that I pay $10,000 for seven months to live in a dorm, whereas I could pay $3,000 a year to live in a nice apartment. Colleges everywhere - can you please let us live off campus whenever we want? Some of us don't have $10,000 lying around and don't want to be shackled to debt for the rest of our lives.

4. Mandatory hall meetings
I am all about having a healthy community with your main peeps in your dormitory hall. What I am not all about, is having mandatory hall meetings where if I don't show up, I get charged $50. Do these things really have to be so...mandatory? Also, what's with these mandatory hall meetings being on Monday nights? MONDAY NIGHTS?! Is there really any worse day to have a bunch of people gather? Probably not.

5. The fact that we don't have a fixed tuition rate
Okay people...seriously...why don't we have a fixed tuition rate?! I don't know about the rest of y'all, but at my school, the tuition keeps going up. And up. AND UP! Meaning that I am now forking over more and more of my life to college debt. I now pay $41,000 a year for school. That is literally the most insane number! Can we please just get a fixed tuition rate so that I can actually, I dunno, get married and have a family and a happy life without going into bankruptcy and debt due to college tuition prices? So many kids have to drop out of college or switch schools or never attend school because of the insane tuition prices. If you want us to come to your college, make us believe that you actually want us there, by not constantly raising the prices. Do you really want to curse the next generation of America to forty plus years of debt? I didn't think so. But every time I see the tuition prices go up, I will admit...there are tears on the inside. Ugly, Kim Kardashian tears.

6. Parking...need I say more?
What is it with schools charging us an arm and a leg for tuition, but then having no parking? If I am signing my life away to get an education, I would at least like for my school to invest into more parking at my dorm so I don't have to walk on the creepy back path from overflow, especially because there are two prisons on either side of my school. Please get more parking so I don't die.

7. The fact that I can only take apples or ice cream out of the dining hall
Okay this is like a serious issue for me. I am a huge foodie - I literally could eat all freaking day! And sometimes I eat at weird times because my schedule is so funky. But when I go to the dining hall to grab a quick something (this is where my rant begins) and just take it down to my dorm, I am reminded THAT I CANNOT BRING CERTAIN FOODS DOWN! Yes, my dining hall won't let you take anything out of the dining hall unless it's a piece of fruit or a small dessert. That means that if I am walking out of the dining hall with, say, a bagel, and I am physically eating it as I am trying to leave, the folks that work at the dining hall, tell me that I either have to wolf down my bagel right then and there, or I have to throw it away. If I am paying $10 a meal, I would at least like to take food out of the dining hall and eat in the gorgeous sunshine or in the comfort of my dorm room.

8. Registration
I have been going to college since I was sixteen, and I would like to say that over the last four years, I have yet to have pleasant registration experience. Every time I have ever tried to register for a class, there has always been some sort of thing that prevents me from registering when I actually need to do it. Is there a way we can fix this? Please? Because I actually want to take classes and graduate. Also, can we please have tech support when registering? At my school, we register at seven in the morning, but the registration office and tech support office doesn't open till 9. WHAT IS THE REASON FOR THIS?! To all of you awesome colleges out there, please be alive, awake and enthusiastic so we can register with your help and continue on the path of graduation.

9. The fact that we don't have elevators
My school is literally built on a hill. My dorm room is the second dorm farthest away from the classrooms and the gym. This means that when I have a class up at the top of the hill, I am huffing and puffing and a sweaty mess. It takes about ten minutes to walk all the way up the hill and the stairs on a good day. So can we please get elevators? Or escalators? Heck, why don't we get a gondola?! Since our gym is at the very top of the school grounds, it means that before I even start my pilates class I am already gasping for air and needing to take a break at the top of the stairs. It ain't pretty, I can assure you... The gif below is an accurate representation about how I probably look trying to hike the hills and stairs.

10. This whole "we're required to meet during finals week" madness
Part of me understands this, but for the most part, I don't understand it. Why do we have to meet during finals week?! If I am done with all my classes during dead week and don't have any final, official tests, then that should mean that I can be done with school and start to move out so I can go home. If I can be done, then I want to be done. Also, what is the point for showing up to a class where all of the activities are done and there isn't any things left to learn? Just do it. Just let us be done!

Now that I'm all spun up from my endless ranting and stressed out by the fact that I only have, like, two or three weeks left of school, I do want to address some things. The first thing, is that I freaking love college. I love my friends, I love (most) of my profs, I love the fact that I'm getting a great education, I love the fact that I'm one step closer to adulthood and an official job. I love the fact that I'm still in the PNW and get to have these adventures. I love my dorm and the community I'm a part of. The rants above are nit-picky things, and obviously those negatives can ever out weigh the positives of college and all the greatness that it brings. So if you can go to college, go! It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, and it's absolutely brilliant. And if you're reading this and you work for a college, or you're a prof or an advisor or something, then please take some of these into account so that we as students feel wanted as people, not just for the sake of our money.

I love college, and it breaks my heart to think about how it's going to end soon But I guess that's why it's so important to enjoy it right now, right?

9 Reasons Why Rey is The Best Female Heroine

 I was born and raised in a Star Wars loving home. My dad is one of the biggest Star Wars nerds (like he has all of the six inch figures and three or four different BB-8s and gigantic ships and lightsabers; he even has a Obi-Wan costume), and because of that wonderful fact, I became a big Star Wars nerd as well. Growing up I had tons of Star Wars action figures, C3PO and R2-D2 slippers, my favorite Ewok in action figure form, and multiple lightsabers. My siblings and I grew up playing more often with Star Wars action figures, than we did with Barbies or matchbox cars. Because of this, we all had lots of joy in our hearts when Episode VII came out in theaters - so much joy that we saw it multiple times. And honestly, I can't wait for it to come out on DVD so I can watch it all over again. But as we were watching Star Wars, I couldn't help but fall deeply in love with the main character, Rey. I mean, I loved all the characters too, but there was something about Rey that really spoke to me - I could empathize with her and understand her. I saw myself in her character, and that was rather brilliant. So here are my ten reasons why Rey is quite possibly the best heroine.


1. She's one tough cookie
 One of my favorite scenes in Episode VII is when Kylo Ren is trying to read Rey's mind but then all of a sudden she feels the Force and is able to read his mind instead. When she is in one of the worst possible situations and all hope seems lost, Rey still keeps fighting. She doesn't just give up or break down crying. She keeps pushing; keeps fighting.

2. She still cries
One of the things that frustrates me most about female heroes, is that often times the authors or directors make them so strong and so harsh, that they don't cry and they don't show any of their feelings. Rey was such an endearing character for me because she still cried when she was sad. She wasn't hard or intense; she still had a gentle spirit.

3. She's compassionate
This kind of ties in with my second point, but like before, often times authors or directors make their female heroes so hard and emotionless, that they aren't compassionate. Often times they are too selfish. Or they are so cold that they could care less about the people or creatures around them. But within the first half of the movie, we see Rey's compassion. We see how much she cares for Finn and how she tries to help him, and how she adores Chewie and Han. But mostly, I love the scene where she saves BB-8 and then lets him stay with her and decides not to sell him for more money. She's compassionate towards him, even though he's just a droid.

4. Her costume isn't sexy
I am getting a bit exhausted seeing all these female heroines that have to be in sexy costumes. They're dressed with all of their leg exposed, boobs busting out from the top, or midriffs exposed as if to say hello to the world. Those types of get-ups wouldn't keep you protected from a sunburn, let alone from an evil villain! And yes, seeing a girl kick butt in a dress is pretty cool, but how often do you as females wear dresses? Probably not very often, because your normal attire is most likely leggings or jeans. I appreciate Rey because she dresses relatively normal; no sexy getup and no constricting dress. Her attire is plain; normal; reasonable.

5. She's totally independent
Most often times with female heroes in books or movies, we find that as soon as we meet them, we meet their sidekick. This isn't the case with Rey. She has lived the majority of her life alone, fighting for herself and being totally independent. She doesn't have a guy best friend like Katniss, or a funny comedian friend like Mushu (although I love all of those characters), nor does she have a dashing prince who is confident and sure of himself. She is on her own, and she keeps herself alive using her independence.

6. She's confident
I'm sure Rey has some insecurities, just like we all do, but for the most part, she's very confident. She's confident when mentally battling Kylo Ren - she didn't know she could use the Force, but she had confidence in herself and her abilities. She's confident when flying the Millennium Falcon; she didn't know how to pilot that ship! And yet, she figured it out and was confident about it. Finally, she was confident when using the lightsaber. She had never used a lightsaber before, but she was quick to snatch it off the ground and start fighting Kylo Ren with it.

7. She keeps fighting
 Rey continues to keep fighting, even after she's been captured by Kylo Ren and even after she has seen her own hero (Han Solo) die and thinks Finn might be dying as well. She never stops fighting, and that's what I appreciate about her. Even when things are tough and looking dim, she continues to press on and keep fighting. She doesn't give up, and she doesn't just completely break down.

8. She never stops believing in the power to do and be good
Often times with female heroines, they change their moral standing. They stop seeing good and evil as black and white, and aren't afraid to blur the lines in order to save themselves and their friends. Something I found particularly interesting with Rey, is that she doesn't do this. She sees good and she does it. Not only that, but the good she is seeking and the way she acts, makes Kylo Ren start to question his own dark side.

9. She cares deeply
I get so exhausted seeing all these female characters that don't care for their fellow friends or family. I see so much friendzoning happening, that I can't truly appreciate the bond between the characters. But, not with Rey. When I watched Episode VII, I loved seeing the friendship between Rey and Finn, but also between Rey and BB-8. She cared deeply for a Storm Trooper (even though he lied to her), Han Solo and Chewie (who she barely knew), and a droid. How cool is that? She doesn't discriminate against them; she cares deeply for all of them.