A Letter To The Love of My Life

Dear Bentley,

Words cannot even express the love I have for you. Somehow, despite the fact that we are different species, and we can't talk, I somehow feel like you understand the deepest parts of my soul. I remember the day we first met - you were really little, and awkward. And so was I. I sat down on the floor and among your brothers, you were put on the floor also. You darted right up to me and threw yourself in my lap and I just knew. It was love at first sight. Waiting a few weeks to bring you home felt like an eternity, and yet, finally. the day arrived and we were officially united - best friends till the very end.

I was anxious and nervous; suddenly I didn't have just myself to take care of anymore - I had you too. You cried the first few nights; I wanted to cry too. I would sleep next to your kennel on the floor, and I would poke my hand in through the bars to try and calm you down. And then I gave you Bullseye, the stuffed animal horse from Toy Story, and you would snuggle up against him at night and sleep like a baby.

I used to be able to pick you up and hold you like a baby, when you were really tiny and small and awkward. When your head was too big for your body and your feet were too large for your legs. You slept a lot too; I don't blame you, being adorable is a lot of work. And with each passing day, somehow I fell in love with you more than I had ever imagined I could. I never knew a person could love something as much as I love you.

And then you started to get big. I all but blinked and suddenly you were the size of a horse! Your fur got longer; your body changed so that your paws were no longer too big for your legs. Your chest got wide and massive, and I couldn't pick you up anymore. Although that didn't stop you from climbing into my lap and snuggling and pretending you were still small.

We have had lots of adventures together; we've taken hikes together, cried together, hurt together, howled together, snuggled together, gone on walks together, held hands and ridden in cars. We've played fetch and chase, and somehow, even though we have done it probably a hundred times, it never gets old. And pretty soon we ditched your kennel and you ended up sleeping in my bed - every night. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Things were perfect and wonderful for us, and then I got sick. And I was tired. And I cried a whole lot; more than I've ever cried in my entire life. Despite all of my tears and sadness, you stuck around. Every time you saw me crying, you were quick to run to me and try to love on me. You would nuzzle under my arm and my neck and remind me that you were there and things were going to be okay. I had spent the last two years taking care of you, but now you were starting to take care of me. You never left my side, not once. You would lie beside me on the couch or up in my bed, or you would sit on the floor near me, making sure that I was never alone or afraid. You would wiggle your nose into my palm, and even though it was kind of gross, your wet nose was comforting. It takes a lot of love, commitment and sacrifice to sit with a girl that is all tears and exhaustion.

Friendship comes from unlikely places, and if you would've asked me five years ago that I would be raising you, I would've said the chances weren't likely. Friendship can exceed the bonds of people; friendship can be found in four-legged, furry friends. You became my best friend in July of 2013, but it feels like we've known each other our entire lives.

I often joke about how you are my "spirit guide", like how Aang has Appa or how Aragorn has Brego or how Harry Potter has Hedwig. You're the yin to my yang and the color to my black and white and the peanut butter to my jelly (I know how much you love that). And I couldn't imagine a world where you weren't in it, because you mean so very much to me. When I'm away at college I find myself crying more about missing you than missing anything else (sorry, family). You have been my greatest investment, my closest friend, my confident and my adventure buddy.

Let's keep having adventures together.

Love always,

             - H

10 Reasons Why I Hate College (and Why You Probably Hate It Too)

Before I get into all of the gory details and rant about why I hate college, I do want to say that I also love college. I love that I'm getting a good education, that I'm making new friends, and that I'm entering into the next stage of adult hood. I love being on my own and being in charge of my future and the life I want to have. But, while I do think college is wonderful and dandy and you do make life long friends there (shout out to all my Aagard girls!), there are some things that just really bug me about college. So, here are my ten reasons why I literally hate college, and why you probably hate it too.

1. Dining Hall Food
Yes, yes, we are all thankful for a school that provides us with food. We are grateful for the people that work for our dining hall and help feed us and take care of us. But, also...dining hall food can literally doom you to the toilet for a solid hour if you aren't careful. Also, did you know it's like, $10 a meal?! Yeah, I just found that out... I could literally buy Chipotle for $10 and it could be used as two meals. Finally, if you can't have gluten and dairy like me, then you are confined to a life of dry chicken and questionable rice... *shudders*

2. Having to talk to ten people, just to get one answer that literally any of them could've given
This is one of the things that is quite possibly the bane of my existence. Have you ever had to go to student life or the registration office or the financial aid office or your counselor's office, just to ask one quick question, and next thing you know, you are taking an adventure around the school to talk to like, fifty different people, only to get one answer that literally any of them could've given you? Yeah, me too. We have all been in this situation, where we waste probably an hour or two of our time, for the most simplest and basic of activities, that could've been answered by any one of the fifty thousand people we talked to, but didn't get the answer from any of them because that's not their "job description".

3. The rule where freshman and sophomores are required to live on campus
I have spent the last two years living in a dorm, and to be honest, I love living in a dorm. What I don't love, however, is the fact that I pay $10,000 for seven months to live in a dorm, whereas I could pay $3,000 a year to live in a nice apartment. Colleges everywhere - can you please let us live off campus whenever we want? Some of us don't have $10,000 lying around and don't want to be shackled to debt for the rest of our lives.

4. Mandatory hall meetings
I am all about having a healthy community with your main peeps in your dormitory hall. What I am not all about, is having mandatory hall meetings where if I don't show up, I get charged $50. Do these things really have to be so...mandatory? Also, what's with these mandatory hall meetings being on Monday nights? MONDAY NIGHTS?! Is there really any worse day to have a bunch of people gather? Probably not.

5. The fact that we don't have a fixed tuition rate
Okay people...seriously...why don't we have a fixed tuition rate?! I don't know about the rest of y'all, but at my school, the tuition keeps going up. And up. AND UP! Meaning that I am now forking over more and more of my life to college debt. I now pay $41,000 a year for school. That is literally the most insane number! Can we please just get a fixed tuition rate so that I can actually, I dunno, get married and have a family and a happy life without going into bankruptcy and debt due to college tuition prices? So many kids have to drop out of college or switch schools or never attend school because of the insane tuition prices. If you want us to come to your college, make us believe that you actually want us there, by not constantly raising the prices. Do you really want to curse the next generation of America to forty plus years of debt? I didn't think so. But every time I see the tuition prices go up, I will admit...there are tears on the inside. Ugly, Kim Kardashian tears.

6. Parking...need I say more?
What is it with schools charging us an arm and a leg for tuition, but then having no parking? If I am signing my life away to get an education, I would at least like for my school to invest into more parking at my dorm so I don't have to walk on the creepy back path from overflow, especially because there are two prisons on either side of my school. Please get more parking so I don't die.

7. The fact that I can only take apples or ice cream out of the dining hall
Okay this is like a serious issue for me. I am a huge foodie - I literally could eat all freaking day! And sometimes I eat at weird times because my schedule is so funky. But when I go to the dining hall to grab a quick something (this is where my rant begins) and just take it down to my dorm, I am reminded THAT I CANNOT BRING CERTAIN FOODS DOWN! Yes, my dining hall won't let you take anything out of the dining hall unless it's a piece of fruit or a small dessert. That means that if I am walking out of the dining hall with, say, a bagel, and I am physically eating it as I am trying to leave, the folks that work at the dining hall, tell me that I either have to wolf down my bagel right then and there, or I have to throw it away. If I am paying $10 a meal, I would at least like to take food out of the dining hall and eat in the gorgeous sunshine or in the comfort of my dorm room.

8. Registration
I have been going to college since I was sixteen, and I would like to say that over the last four years, I have yet to have pleasant registration experience. Every time I have ever tried to register for a class, there has always been some sort of thing that prevents me from registering when I actually need to do it. Is there a way we can fix this? Please? Because I actually want to take classes and graduate. Also, can we please have tech support when registering? At my school, we register at seven in the morning, but the registration office and tech support office doesn't open till 9. WHAT IS THE REASON FOR THIS?! To all of you awesome colleges out there, please be alive, awake and enthusiastic so we can register with your help and continue on the path of graduation.

9. The fact that we don't have elevators
My school is literally built on a hill. My dorm room is the second dorm farthest away from the classrooms and the gym. This means that when I have a class up at the top of the hill, I am huffing and puffing and a sweaty mess. It takes about ten minutes to walk all the way up the hill and the stairs on a good day. So can we please get elevators? Or escalators? Heck, why don't we get a gondola?! Since our gym is at the very top of the school grounds, it means that before I even start my pilates class I am already gasping for air and needing to take a break at the top of the stairs. It ain't pretty, I can assure you... The gif below is an accurate representation about how I probably look trying to hike the hills and stairs.

10. This whole "we're required to meet during finals week" madness
Part of me understands this, but for the most part, I don't understand it. Why do we have to meet during finals week?! If I am done with all my classes during dead week and don't have any final, official tests, then that should mean that I can be done with school and start to move out so I can go home. If I can be done, then I want to be done. Also, what is the point for showing up to a class where all of the activities are done and there isn't any things left to learn? Just do it. Just let us be done!

Now that I'm all spun up from my endless ranting and stressed out by the fact that I only have, like, two or three weeks left of school, I do want to address some things. The first thing, is that I freaking love college. I love my friends, I love (most) of my profs, I love the fact that I'm getting a great education, I love the fact that I'm one step closer to adulthood and an official job. I love the fact that I'm still in the PNW and get to have these adventures. I love my dorm and the community I'm a part of. The rants above are nit-picky things, and obviously those negatives can ever out weigh the positives of college and all the greatness that it brings. So if you can go to college, go! It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, and it's absolutely brilliant. And if you're reading this and you work for a college, or you're a prof or an advisor or something, then please take some of these into account so that we as students feel wanted as people, not just for the sake of our money.

I love college, and it breaks my heart to think about how it's going to end soon But I guess that's why it's so important to enjoy it right now, right?

9 Reasons Why Rey is The Best Female Heroine

 I was born and raised in a Star Wars loving home. My dad is one of the biggest Star Wars nerds (like he has all of the six inch figures and three or four different BB-8s and gigantic ships and lightsabers; he even has a Obi-Wan costume), and because of that wonderful fact, I became a big Star Wars nerd as well. Growing up I had tons of Star Wars action figures, C3PO and R2-D2 slippers, my favorite Ewok in action figure form, and multiple lightsabers. My siblings and I grew up playing more often with Star Wars action figures, than we did with Barbies or matchbox cars. Because of this, we all had lots of joy in our hearts when Episode VII came out in theaters - so much joy that we saw it multiple times. And honestly, I can't wait for it to come out on DVD so I can watch it all over again. But as we were watching Star Wars, I couldn't help but fall deeply in love with the main character, Rey. I mean, I loved all the characters too, but there was something about Rey that really spoke to me - I could empathize with her and understand her. I saw myself in her character, and that was rather brilliant. So here are my ten reasons why Rey is quite possibly the best heroine.


1. She's one tough cookie
 One of my favorite scenes in Episode VII is when Kylo Ren is trying to read Rey's mind but then all of a sudden she feels the Force and is able to read his mind instead. When she is in one of the worst possible situations and all hope seems lost, Rey still keeps fighting. She doesn't just give up or break down crying. She keeps pushing; keeps fighting.

2. She still cries
One of the things that frustrates me most about female heroes, is that often times the authors or directors make them so strong and so harsh, that they don't cry and they don't show any of their feelings. Rey was such an endearing character for me because she still cried when she was sad. She wasn't hard or intense; she still had a gentle spirit.

3. She's compassionate
This kind of ties in with my second point, but like before, often times authors or directors make their female heroes so hard and emotionless, that they aren't compassionate. Often times they are too selfish. Or they are so cold that they could care less about the people or creatures around them. But within the first half of the movie, we see Rey's compassion. We see how much she cares for Finn and how she tries to help him, and how she adores Chewie and Han. But mostly, I love the scene where she saves BB-8 and then lets him stay with her and decides not to sell him for more money. She's compassionate towards him, even though he's just a droid.

4. Her costume isn't sexy
I am getting a bit exhausted seeing all these female heroines that have to be in sexy costumes. They're dressed with all of their leg exposed, boobs busting out from the top, or midriffs exposed as if to say hello to the world. Those types of get-ups wouldn't keep you protected from a sunburn, let alone from an evil villain! And yes, seeing a girl kick butt in a dress is pretty cool, but how often do you as females wear dresses? Probably not very often, because your normal attire is most likely leggings or jeans. I appreciate Rey because she dresses relatively normal; no sexy getup and no constricting dress. Her attire is plain; normal; reasonable.

5. She's totally independent
Most often times with female heroes in books or movies, we find that as soon as we meet them, we meet their sidekick. This isn't the case with Rey. She has lived the majority of her life alone, fighting for herself and being totally independent. She doesn't have a guy best friend like Katniss, or a funny comedian friend like Mushu (although I love all of those characters), nor does she have a dashing prince who is confident and sure of himself. She is on her own, and she keeps herself alive using her independence.

6. She's confident
I'm sure Rey has some insecurities, just like we all do, but for the most part, she's very confident. She's confident when mentally battling Kylo Ren - she didn't know she could use the Force, but she had confidence in herself and her abilities. She's confident when flying the Millennium Falcon; she didn't know how to pilot that ship! And yet, she figured it out and was confident about it. Finally, she was confident when using the lightsaber. She had never used a lightsaber before, but she was quick to snatch it off the ground and start fighting Kylo Ren with it.

7. She keeps fighting
 Rey continues to keep fighting, even after she's been captured by Kylo Ren and even after she has seen her own hero (Han Solo) die and thinks Finn might be dying as well. She never stops fighting, and that's what I appreciate about her. Even when things are tough and looking dim, she continues to press on and keep fighting. She doesn't give up, and she doesn't just completely break down.

8. She never stops believing in the power to do and be good
Often times with female heroines, they change their moral standing. They stop seeing good and evil as black and white, and aren't afraid to blur the lines in order to save themselves and their friends. Something I found particularly interesting with Rey, is that she doesn't do this. She sees good and she does it. Not only that, but the good she is seeking and the way she acts, makes Kylo Ren start to question his own dark side.

9. She cares deeply
I get so exhausted seeing all these female characters that don't care for their fellow friends or family. I see so much friendzoning happening, that I can't truly appreciate the bond between the characters. But, not with Rey. When I watched Episode VII, I loved seeing the friendship between Rey and Finn, but also between Rey and BB-8. She cared deeply for a Storm Trooper (even though he lied to her), Han Solo and Chewie (who she barely knew), and a droid. How cool is that? She doesn't discriminate against them; she cares deeply for all of them.

- Spring Playlist -

 Victor Hugo once said, "Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent." I just love that quote, don't you? Because it's so true - music speaks things that our souls and hearts feel. It seduces our mind into thinking and coaxes our bodies into dancing. My love of music, is why I have decided to write a blogpost showcasing my ultimate Spring playlist. Since Winter has all the Christmas music to contend with, and Summer has all the cool summery jams (California Girls by Katy Perry...obviously), it seemed like Spring just needed a playlist. So here is my Spring playlist. Enjoy!

1. "Colors" by Laleh
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IH2yPTkOP9s 
This song is really cool because Laleh isn't a super well-known artist and her voice is very unique. It has an upbeat sound but the lyrics are deep. It's the perfect song to listen to when Winter is fading and Spring is causing all sorts of beautiful weather.


2. "Ophelia" by The Lumineers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTOC_q0NLTk 
I enjoy this particular tune for two reasons. The first reason I like this song is because I love the Luminneers. The second reason is because this song has a bouncy sort of feel. The piano is wonderful in it, and the music video is particularly enjoyable as well. The song makes me think of flowers popping up in Spring.


3. "Bryn" by Vampire Weekend
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpN5DuffebM 
I honestly don't have a reason for adding this to my Spring playlist. Perhaps it's because I love Vampire Weekend? Or maybe because it seems like a joyful, adventurous song. Whatever the reason, you must listen to it. It's rather wonderful.


4. "Electric Love" by BøRNS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYr96YYEaZY 
Ring by Spring, ever heard of it? Yeah, me too, all the time... Anyway, since all of the animals are getting all cozy and girls everywhere are getting engaged, this song seemed only fitting for the Spring playlist.


5. "Strawberry Swing" by Coldplay
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3pJZSTQqIg
In the Spring, all these wonderful flowers start blooming and things turn green again and fruit starts appearing every which way. Thinking of fruit sprouting up during Spring instantly made me think of this Coldplay song. It's the perfect Spring song for walking around and eating strawberries.

6. "Waste" by Foster the People
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbEVzpdOlVg 
For those of you in the college world like me, finishing the next last weeks of school has been exponentially rough. What with the wonderful weather and my general exhaustion from all the homework and classes, it seems like this song is especially fitting. The main lyrics are, "and every day that you wanna waste, you can". How is that not fitting for a tired college student who would rather procrastinate in the Spring and enjoy the sun than do their homework?!


7. "Washed Out" by New Theory
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v00RQms9QiM 
This song makes me think of Spring slowly coming to an end and Summer appearing in the (hopefully) near future. It's got a very unique sound to it, and it's kind of relaxing but still upbeat all at the same time.


8. "Sunlight" by Bag Raiders
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSVbz4sdcjQ 
Since Winter is starting to finally disappear and we are in the middle of Spring, this song seems only fitting. It's all about sunlight, something which I am glad the end of March/beginning of April is finally bringing.


9. "Ocean Drive" by Duke Dumont
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CdEfL-XrSk 
I find this song good to listen to because it just reminds me of Spring break. Of Spring break romances and adventure and the beach and hope for the summer.


10. "Carry On Wayward Son" by Kansas
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X_2IdybTV0 
There are a few reasons I chose to put this song on my Spring playlist. The first reason is that I'm obsessed with Supernatural, so I had to put this into my playlist. The second is because it's all about carrying on and staying strong. For those of us that are in college and struggling to get to the finish line, this is a good reminder that we just need to carry on; summer is coming.

11. "Punching in a Dream" by The Naked and Famous
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfkL6h4nngs 
I just really love the Naked and Famous, so I had to include one of their songs on my Spring playlist, and this has always been one of my favorites. For some reason, it just says Spring to me.

12. "Polish Girl" by Neon Indian
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fo6ZaCTqxwM 
This song is very unique and tech-y sounding. It reminds me of going through the motions of Spring and looking towards the excitement and joy of Summer.

13. "Ottoman" by Vampire Weekend
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tz5E8GMQXZU 
I first heard this song on Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist, so naturally I had to put it in my Spring playlist. I love the string instruments in this song, and it's very catchy.

14. "Daylight" by Matt and Kim
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCejeGRR1L4 
Okay, so one of the main reasons I had to include this song in my Spring playlist is because it's called "Daylight", which makes me think of Spring and warmer weather and sunshine and flowers. The guys that sing this song have unique and interesting voices, so it makes listening to the song fun. 

10 Things You Should Never Say to a Person Dealing with Chronic Illness

In the summer of 2015, I was diagnosed with Still's Disease, a rare autoimmnue disease that effects 1 in 100,000 people. It causes salmon colored rashes, daily fevers, severe arthritis, lowers your immune system, gives you a fast heart rate, causes pneumonia, as well as depression and anxiety. There are other symptoms for Still's Disease, but I only listed the main ones that are also the most common. I have been living with this autoimmune disease for the last 10 months, and over these months, I've heard a lot of comments from people who are not dealing with a chronic illness of their own. Because of this, I have decided to write this blogpost on things you should not say to a person who is dealing with a chronic illness. I will then address the best way you can encourage and support someone who has a chronic illness, such as Still's Disease. Here are my list of things you should never say to a person dealing with a chronic illness:

"But you look so great!"
Okay, this is one of the most frustrating things that can come out of a person's mouth. I understand that when you say it, you mean it as a compliment, but it doesn't always feel that way. Living with a chronic illness is difficult because the inside of our body is attacking itself, not always the outside. So while I may appear put together and cute on the outside, on the inside my immune system is failing, my body is attacking itself, my bones are deteriorating, my heart is moving too fast, and I'm struggling with constant anxiety and fevers and joint pain. Often times people with chronic illnesses put on a brave face, but on the inside we are battling constant pain and insecurities.


"But you're fine, right?"
We need to establish some rules when using the word "fine". When you say, "But you're fine, right?", it doesn't come off as a positive thing. Whenever a person asks me this question, my gut reaction is to say, "yes! I'm fine!" and pretend like everything is right with the world. But on the inside I'm fighting my own fears and pain and emotions. When a person with chronic illness says they're "fine", it doesn't actually mean we are fine. Often times I respond with saying that I'm okay, just because I don't want to appear whiny and annoying and depressing. That, and it gets tired having to repeat the same story over and over again.


"You don't look sick."
The thing about chronic illnesses and autoimmune diseases, is that they're really good at hiding themselves. Aside from my daily fevers and salmon colored rash, the world wouldn't be able to notice that I was physically sick. Just because I don't look sick, doesn't mean I'm not. It's one of the hardest things for those of us that are dealing with chronic illness, to hear you say that we don't look sick, because it sounds like you're undermining our pain and sickness and frustration.


"You're too young to be sick."
I would like to take this time right now, to point out that nobody is ever too young to be sick. Chronic illness and sickness could happen to anyone, no matter how old or young they are. So please don't tell us if we're too young to be sick, because chronic illness doesn't have an age limit.


"Have you tried ______"
Pretty much every person I talk to asks me if I've tried _____. They've asked me if I've tried supplements or vitamins or different diets or natural methods or medicinal methods. Almost every time someone asks me how I'm doing and how things are going with my disease, they ask me if I've tried _____. I understand that when people ask me if I've tried some method they are asking about, that they are just trying to be helpful. But the problem is, almost always none of those methods will work. Because chronic illness isn't like a normal sickness that goes away after a week or two. It lingers, sometimes all of a person's life. The other part of this is, that if you aren't a medical professional or my doctor, then I probably won't try what you're suggesting. My doctors are doing everything in their power to keep my body up to speed and to prevent my disease from getting worse, so don't you think they're doing all they can? Yes, yes they are. Therefore, if they haven't suggested to me what you are suggesting, chances are, I most likely won't try it.

"You should get out more!"
Sometimes people express to me that they wished I would get out more. People get frustrated when I'm unable to show up to events or I can't drive some place to meet them or I can't attend a party or get together. The fact of the matter is, as much as I would love to get out more, I physically can't. I am either shackled to medications (daily injections) that have to be done at a certain time of the day, too tired, or in too much pain. Whenever someone tells me that I need to get out more, I feel depressed because I can't get out more, and it's out of my control. So please don't tell someone dealing with a chronic illness that they need to get out more, because mostly, it will just make them feel sad and depressed that they're unable to.

"You're just having a rough day."
I hate when people tell me that I'm just "having a rough day", when in all actuality, I'm having a rather good day. On a really bad day, it's hard to stay awake or get out of bed or walk normally. On a bad day, it's hard to get motivated to be happy and do regular chores and get cleaned up for the day. But on a good day, the illness is docile enough that I can get up and go about my day with my new sense of "normal". I can get up and get dressed and appear presentable and stay awake for the better part of my day. So if I am talking to you and discussing how I'm tired or my heart is racing fast or I'm feeling nauseous or my joints hurt, don't say I'm having a rough or a bad day. It's frustrating because I want people to recognize that I am pushing through the pain and the fatigue, and therefore, I am actually having a good day. Also, there is no "having a rough day", because most of the time it's having a rough few days, weeks, or even months.


"I know how you feel."
Unless you are a person who is also suffering from some sort of chronic disease or extreme sickness, you do not know how I feel. I know that you're trying to make me feel better and find some common ground, but it really isn't working. It also makes me feel like you're undermining my disease and not recognizing how hard it is living with it. Please, don't say you know how I feel, unless you are suffering and in the same situation I am.


"But you'll get better, right?"
Whenever people ask me if I'll get better, I find it hard to answer their question. First off, I wish that I could say I will get better, and I appreciate that you are being hopeful and positive for the future. But, I have to say that there is a big chance that I won't actually get better. Chronic illnesses can't be cured, they can only be halted. It's like pausing the disease or slowing it down; medicine can't actually take it away. There are some cases where chronic diseases can go into remission, but remission isn't always for sure and even if you do go into remission, many people will get the disease again, and it will be a violent cycle. So please don't ask me if I'll get better, because honestly, I don't know.


"Just stay positive."
I hear the whole "just stay positive" speech a lot from people. I realize that you are trying to encourage me, but it isn't really working that well. Instead, when you say "just be positive" or "keep your head up", it makes me feel like you're undermining my disease and also undermining all of the emotions I am feeling. Instead of telling someone who is dealing with a chronic illness to "stay positive", try empathizing with us instead. That will speak much grater volumes, than if you tell us to hang in there.


Those are my top ten things that you should never say to a person dealing with chronic illness. Now that I have given you my list of things not to say, I thought I should give you a list of things you should say and do. This way you are equipped in how you can best support them and help them through this difficult time.

Research their illness
I cannot stress this enough! The best thing you can do for someone suffering from a chronic illness, is research their illness. When my mom was diagnosed with Lupus and then later I was diagnosed with Still's Disease, we started researching our illnesses. After that, we wanted everyone else we knew to also research our sickness, so that they could best understand what we are dealing with. Not only that, but in an emergency situation, your friends will hopefully know how to act and handle you based on your chronic illness symptoms and problems.


"I believe you."
There were so many times that before I was diagnosed with Still's Disease, that I was wondering if I was actually crazy. I am so not the person to get stressed about getting sick, nor do I get sick that often, and I also used to never be tired. Like, ever. But after getting sick and going through the motions, the best thing that I could hear from my doctors and family (especially my mom), was that they believed me. They believed I was suffering and dealing with some sort of illness. That is the best thing you can say to a person when they are suffering from a chronic illness - that you believe them!


"Can we hangout at your place?"
Since going out is something that is harder on a person suffering with a chronic illness, offer to come over to their house and hangout. We still want to do something despite the fact that we are sick, and if you offer, chances are we will most likely say yes because we want to spend time with you and still have fun!


"You are so strong."
Battling a chronic illness is exhausting and can really put a strain on both your body and your emotions. One of my favorite things to hear from people, is that I'm strong. I love when people praise me for fighting this battle and trying my hardest to pull myself together. It helps me because they are recognizing that I am struggling, but they are commending me for the effort I am putting forth.


"I know how hard you're trying."
People struggling with auto immune diseases love hearing that you recognize how hard we are trying. It makes us feel empowered and encouraged that even though we are fighting an illness and constantly fatigued and in pain, that you recognize how we are attempting to put forth an effort and have a relatively "normal" life.


Bring them food or offer a helping hand
With a heart rate that is almost always over 120 bpm, I am constantly hungry, due to the fact that I am burning so many calories literally just doing nothing. So I love when people surprise me with food or something good to drink, because I am hungry all the time. Also, don't be afraid to offer a helping hand whenever you see a person with chronic illness struggling to do something. We are still getting used to the fact that we can't do all of the things we used to, so you might have to offer your help in order for us to realize that we actually need it. Not only that, but it shows us you care and you want to help us.

There you have it! My top ten things you should never say to a person dealing with chronic illness, followed by the top six best things you can say or do for a person suffering with chronic illness. I hope this opens your eyes to the world we live in and teaches you the best way to interact with those of us living with an autoimmune disease.

Why I Love Gravity Falls and Why You Should Too

For some weird reason unknown to man, as a twenty year old woman, I am somehow addicted to children's cartoons. Yes, I understand, it is weird, and I'm too old for that, right? Shouldn't I be watching Reign or Vampire Diaries or Grey's Anatomy or something? Probably, but I just can't. For some reason, I just love the goofiness and simplicity of children's cartoons. That, and I find the characters in cartoons, just a bit easier to love than the characters in young adult TV shows. One of my most favorite children's cartoon, is "Gravity Falls".

"Gravity Falls" follows the Pines twins, Dipper and Mabel, and their adventures while they stay in Gravity Falls over the summer with their Grunkle (great uncle) Stan. While they stay with their Grunkle Stan at his business (he owns the tourist trap known as the Mystery Shack), the twins quickly learn that Gravity Falls is not a normal town, and there are some rather strange creatures that dwell there. Dipper is the logical one, whereas Mabel is happy to make radio shows and wear funky sweaters. There are also a handful of other great characters in the show as well, like Soos (the handyman/employee that works at the Mystery Shack), Wendy (the hot, older lumbersexual girl that also works at the Mystery Shack), Waddles (Mabel's pet pig), Gideon (the arch-nemesis of Grunkle Stan), and Mabel's two best friends Candy and Grenda.

Now that I've given you the lowdown on "Gravity Falls", it's time for me to convince you to watch it so you too, can experience it's awesomeness. So here are my reasons on why I love "Gravity Falls" and why you should too.

1. It's set in the Pacific Northwest
Okay, so the first reason I love "Gravity Falls" so much, is because it takes place in the Pacific Northwest. So if you live in the PNW like me, then you'll appreciate "Gravity Falls" and the nature the artists depicted in the show.


2. It's overtly hilarious
I know I know...can a kid's cartoon actually be funny to an adult? The answer: yes, yes it can. "Gravity Falls" is absolutely hilarious and brutally honest sometimes. One of my favorite lines from "Gravity Falls" is when Grunkle Stan says, "Hit him over the head, it's nature's snooze button." Most kids probably wouldn't find that funny, but as adults, clearly we do.


3. Grunkle Stan is our spirit animal
Grunkle Stan is the classic grumpy old man who likes to hustle tourists out of their money. He would much rather be sleeping in his arm chair or walking around in his underwear. This is why, Grunkle Stan is basically our spirit animal. How often do we just want to lie around on our couches and watch Netflix? Or not wear a bra? Or not wear clothes in the comfort of our own home? All the time people, all the time we want that. Plus, Grunkle Stan has some of the best one liners we have all secretly thought but have had too much restraint to say, like, "When there's no cops around, anything's legal!" or, "Kids! I can't find the remote and I refuse to stand up!" or, "Yeah, nothing like sitting in a moist tub with strangers. It's like the bus, but wet." Seriously, watch the show and you'll see what I mean.

4. There are weird creatures everywhere
Each episode usually deals with some sort of weird creature and being that Dipper and Mabel have to learn about and destroy. It's kind of like Supernatural, but kid-friendly. They deal with classic creatures like Gnomes and Zombies, but then deal with bizarre creatures like Manotaurs (minotaurs that are manly) and the Hand Witch. This gives the show a funny and creative twist.

5. The relationship between Dipper and Mabel
I don't have a twin brother, but I do have a younger brother that looks almost exactly like me, except, ya know, manly. I love getting to see the relationship between Dipper and Mabel, because it reminds me a lot of my relationship with my younger brother. Throughout the show, Dipper is always trying to watch out for Mabel and protect her, and Mabel is always trying to stay positive and encourage Dipper. I love that they still fight like normal siblings, but they love each other fiercely.

6.  Dipper's personality
In a lot of ways, I think we can relate to Dipper. He's constantly asking questions and seeking answers and trying to discover new things. Sometimes he can be a little too controlling, and become obsessed with finding answers, like I think we can too. But Dipper holds the group together and is always stepping up to the plate to lead them.

7. Mabel's personality
Even if we don't always act like it on the outside, on the inside, we are all like Mabel. We are all a little weird, obsessed over certain things, love funky sweaters, a little boy-crazy, like to make jokes, and love our pets. Mabel may sometimes appear naive, but she's easily the sweetest character on the entire show. She loves life and her friends, but on the inside she is secretly insecure about her future, just like we often are.

8. Wendy's honesty
Wendy appears as the cool, laid back older chick that Dipper has a crush on. She always seems easy going and like she just goes with the flow. But in one of the "Gravity Falls" episodes, she reveals that she isn't nearly as laid back as she seems, and on the inside, she's really very stressed out like, all. The. Time. Feel like you relate? Yeah, me too.

9. I secretly wished I lived in Gravity Falls
After watching the two seasons of "Gravity Falls", I have come to the realization that I wish I lived there with Dipper and Mabel and Grunkle Stan. I wish I had their friends and their gumption, and I wish I lived in a world where fighting supernatural and fantastical creatures was just a part of every day life. Granted, I do live in the PNW, so I'm getting there, right?

10. They all love each other
One of the biggest reasons why I love "Gravity Falls", is because of the love the characters share among themselves. Nowadays, a lot of the TV shows we watch, the characters are quick to leave one another and not stick around. Thankfully, the characters in "Gravity Falls" are committed to each other and the friendships they have created over the summer. Grunkle Stan loves Dipper and Mabel as if they were his own children, Dipper and Mabel learn to love each other more, and they learn to love Wendy and Soos and Candy and Grenda. They learn to love unexpected visitors and how to overcome new obstacles. That, is why I love "Gravity Falls".

These are my top ten reasons why I love "Gravity Falls". I hope after reading this that you will spend some of your time watching the show. It really is awesome. Watch it on TV, and if you can't do that, then just look up "Gravity Falls Full Episodes" and you should be able to find something. Stay weird, everyone!

You Might Be a Homeschooler If...

I have been a homeschooler for as long as I can remember. As soon as I was in kindergarten, I was homeschooled until I was a junior in high school, where I went to college and finished up both my high school career as well as my prerequisites for college. But being homeschooled comes with a lot of responsibility and interesting comments. So here is a list of things that might pertain to you if you too, were once a homeschooler.

You might a homeschooler if...

- the Magic School Bus was "educational"

- going to the grocery store counted as a "field trip"

- other people asked you at the store if you should be in class right now

- cooking lunch or dinner for your family counted as home economics

- you ever had to read the History of Us books - ugh, I hated those things

- you ever had to ask your mom for a break

- you ever had to do over the school because your mom wanted you to "work ahead"

- your friends ever ask you why you don't go to "real school"

- you had to suffer through Saxon Math...come on guys, we've all had to suffer through it at one point

- your mom taught you literature, English and History and your dad covered science and math

- you ever listened to "Adventures in Odyssey"

- you ever had to attend co-op once a week

- school was cancelled because mom was sick (who said a teacher could only have so many sick days?!)

- you ever went skiiing or snowboarding on the discounted "homeschooler" Thursdays

- anyone ever asked you if you have "real friends"

- people doubt your social skills

- Abecca; need I say more?

- you ever made movies with your siblings and other homeschool friends

- playing outside is the same as PE or recess

- vacations happen in the middle of winter

- you suffered through that awkward "where do you go to school" conversation

- you rocked a lot of skirts...like...all the time

- your principle was your dad

- school can happen anywhere - Starbucks, McDonalds, Panera Bread...literally, anywhere

- you watch Blimey Cow religiously

- you have a lot of siblings

- you court, not date

- you aren't quite sure what grade you're in

- you make fun of kids who have to go to school ALL DAY!

- your siblings are your best friends

- your bed is also your desk

- you and all your siblings have Bible names

These are just a few of the ways you might be a homeschooler. I hope this touches all the hearts of my fellow homeschool peeps. And if you're reading this and aren't a homeschooler, well, you'll be all the more educated! I have loved being homeschooled, and I can't wait till I have kids and get to homeschool them as well.

How To Get 10,000 Steps a Day

Living in the Seattle area, nearly everyone and their mother has a Fitbit. I constantly see other people around me, with their fancy little device, tapping it as they walk to see how many steps they have. This Christmas I joined the Fitbit club, and have quickly become obsessed with getting at least 10,000 steps a day, if not more. Because then your Fitbut buzzes and tells you you reached your goal and how healthy you're being, and who doesn't love that? But sometimes it's hard to get 10,000 steps a day, and then we feel sad when we don't reach our goal. 10,000 is roughly 5 miles, which doesn't seem like a lot, and yet, it is. So, these are some of my tips on how to get 10,000 steps a day!

• Get a Fitbit or something that can track your steps
Having a Fitbit has actually made me motivated and want to work out more. Without it, I noticed I really didn't care if I was exercising that much or not. So invest into something that can help you keep track of your steps and mileage.

• Get up and move every hour
Sometimes we get lost in life and just spend our entire day at the office, sitting in the same chair. And then on the weekends we splurge and watch Netflix all. Day. Long. So, get up and move! Just get up every hour and do a little stroll around the house; let your dog outside, take a walk, get some water; whatever you need to do, just get up and do it.

• Take the stairs
Going to the mall is one of my favorite things to do, and it might be one of your favorite things to do too, so instead of taking the elevator, use the stairs instead. This keeps you moving and gives you more steps. In the end, it's much more beneficial, and, most likely, it's quicker to use the stairs than the elevator.

• Set goals
Set smaller goals that don't seem quite as daunting as 10,000 steps. Instead, say you will be at 2,500 steps around 11 AM, and then that you'll be at 5,000 steps by 1 PM and so on until you reach 10,000 steps. That way your goals seem more manageable.

• Park far away
As a woman, I am not saying to any of you that when it's dark and scary outside and you are alone, that you should park at the very back of the darkest parking lot. But, if it's during the day and you're running errands, then park farther away so you have to take more steps to get to the store.

• Take walks with friends
Instead of just hanging out at a coffee shop and catching up with your friends, opt to go for a walk and catch up instead. I know one of my favorite things to do with my friends is walk the trail in our town or do some easy hikes, that way we're being active. And, you could always stop by Starbucks or Jamba Juice before you walk too, or you could go after your activity as a reward.

• Take a stroll while checking your phone
Instead of just sitting on the couch and checking your phone, opt to pace while doing it. Or, if you're talking to someone on the phone, walk around your house, that way you're being active but you can still catch up with your bestie from high school.

• Get up and move during the commercials 
While checking social media during commercials can be fun, get up and move instead. Do some jumping jacks or squats, or just walk in pace until your show comes back on.

Those are just a few of my tips for staying healthy and getting all of your steps in. Good luck and I hope you can get 10,000 steps a day! We all love being healthy and happy, right? Get up and go get those steps!

13 Places to Visit in Paris

When my friend Julie and I were planning our trip to Europe, we were both a little nervous about what Paris would be like. Every time we asked our friends that had been to Paris, they all had different opinions. Some of them said they loved Paris and were dying to go back; others said it was their least favorite part about Europe and would've been fine if they had just skipped it. As you can imagine, this made the two of us nervous - would we like Paris? I'm glad to say, the second we got to our hotel and began strolling through Paris, we instantly fell in love. I personally, would even go as far to say that I liked Paris better than London, and found the Parisians to be nicer than the Londoners. But, that's just my personal opinion; maybe it's just because it's the city of love. Anyway, I wanted to share my favorite 15 places to visit in Paris - hopefully this will give you some fun ideas when you go to Paris too!

1. The Louvre 
The Louvre is a great place if you're super into art. If you're not really into art and you aren't a huge fan of gigantic, massive crowds, then I would recommend just skipping it. My friend and I just stopped outside of it, snapped some pictures, and moved along. We couldn't fathom the thought of pushing through huge crowds only to get a glimpse of the Mona Lisa and find out that, well, it really is only as big as a normal piece of paper. Most people I had talked to told me to just skip the Louvre, so we did. But like I said, if you're really into art then you should totally check it out. There are some wonderful pieces in there.

2. The Eiffel Tower
Obviously if you're in Paris, you will get to see the Eiffel Tower. But, just seeing it isn't enough. One of my favorite things was to stand right beside the Eiffel Tower and to look up into the structure, only to realize how massive it truly is. I've always thought if it as being huge, but my imagination clearly didn't have the capacity to realize how gigantic it was. The Seattle Space Needle is 605 feet high, whereas the Eiffel Tower is 1,063 feet high - that's almost two times the size of the Space Needle! You can go up to the top of the Eiffel Tower, but you have to pay for it. It is pretty high so if you don't like heights, then you probably shouldn't go up it. But then again, it is a once in a lifetime chance, so it's worth it if you feel passionate about it.

3. The Tuileries Garden
The Tuileries Garden was one of my favorite places we visited in Paris. It's so gorgeous and there's all these vibrant flowers - you can literally stop and smell the roses! There are some really cool lounge chairs scattered about the Garden as well, so you can just lounge around or take a nap or enjoy the scenery. We liked to bring our books and sit and read and soak up the sun on good days. Sometimes they have goats that groom the gardens, so those can be a little fun to see as well.

4. Place de la Concorde
Paris isn't super large, so for the most part you can walk/bike wherever you please and visit places. One of the places we visited was Place de la Concorde. For all you history buffs and/or horror enjoyers, this is the place where a ton of French royalty was guillotined, like Queen Marie Antionette. It's a piece of history, so it's interesting to visit. Plus, there's a pretty fountain, ya know, to help wash away the blood of the beheaded - joking. I'm only joking.

5. Les Invalides
Les Invalides was a retirement home for war veterans during the time of Napoleon Bonaparte. It's also the burial place of Napoleon Bonaparte, as well as some members of his family. The building is stunning, and you can physically go inside and see where Napoleon's tiny body is buried.

6. Notre Dame
Notre Dame is just one of the places you must visit while in Paris. The building is stunning to withhold and it's even more beautiful than I had ever imagined. I had always dreamed of going to Notre Dame after reading The Hunchback of Notre Dame, so I was so excited when that dream came true. Our hotel manager told us if we wanted to be as close to God as humanly possible, then we needed to go to the tippy top of Notre Dame. So if you want to seek so called spiritual closeness, then you can go up into the top of Notre Dame. You do have to pay to get inside, and the line can be really long, so plan to spend an hour or two in line. One of our favorite things was to grab a cappuccino and just sit around Notre Dame; it's so relaxing and it's great for people watching too.

7. Shakespeare & Company
I love reading, and so does my friend Julie. So when we heard about the super unique and well-known bookstore Shakespeare and Company, we knew we had to visit. Shakespeare and Company is one of the famous bookstores you see all over Pinterest, and after we saw it, we knew exactly why. There are tons of unique and old books there, and little reading nooks. For a book lover, this is a must visit in Paris. Plus, it's right across the street from Notre Dame, so you can just visit one after the other!

8. Laduree
Laduree is a famous chocolatier place. You can get all sorts of treats and goodies there, especially chocolate! It's just a fun stop when you're craving something sweet but don't want to spend too much money. They also have macarons there too.

9. Angelina
Okay, I have been waiting for the majority of this post to rant about how much I love Angelina. Angelina is a sweet shop, but it's a very high-end sweet shop. It also has the best hot chocolate, ever. So if you love hot chocolate and other goodies, then this is most definitely the place for you. If you just want hot chocolate, they have a little cart outside. If you just want some take out dessert, then you can go inside and buy whatever dessert and candies you wish. But, if you want to be really fancy, you can sit in the restaurant section of Angelina and have some dessert and cocoa. Angelina is usually pretty busy, so it may take a while to get a table. But if there's only two of you, it will happen fairly fast. I totally, one hundred percent recommend going to Angelina - it is every sweet lover's dream.

 
10. Le Relais de l'Entrecote
One of the main reasons we go to Paris, is for the food and the wine, am I right? We were highly excited to go to the city of love and eat our way through the city. We had been told by a friend that if we wanted to have one of the most amazing meals ever, then we had to visit Le Relais de l'Entrecote. They only have one thing on the menu, and that is, steak and frites (fries) with the most mouth watering sauce spread on the steak. People line up hours before the restaurant opens, or else you won't get a seat. But it is totally worth the wait! The food is beyond words, and the wine is wonderful too. This is a must visit place if you love steak and fries and good wine. But it is a little spendy (worth it though, I promise) and you do need to make sure to get there about an hour before it opens so you get a seat and aren't left waiting in the cold.

11. The Royal Palace
For all you castle lovers and fairytale dreamers, the Royal Palace is the place you need to visit. The architecture is brilliant, and the palace is stunning and it's quite grand. Sometimes it can be hard to see if the gates are up, and it can be a little difficult to get there, but it's totally worth it. The picture below isn't mine, but it's the best representation of the Royal Palace.

12. Arc de Triomphe du Carrousel
This is not the Arc de Triomphe in the middle of the road in Paris that you can drive under, so keep that in mind. This is a different arc, but it's worth seeing. The Arc de Triomphe du Carrousel was created to commemorate all of Napoleon's victories in France. The structure on top is depicting Peace riding in on triumphant chariots, because Napoleon was bringing "peace" to the city. It's worth the stop, and it's massive. It's also really close to the Tuileries Garden, so you can just stop by it on your way out.

13. Les Antiquaries
We're back on the subject of food, but this is a must visit for food lovers. We got this restaurant recommendation from our hotel manager, who told us it wasn't too expensive and the food was top notch. We were so surprised when we arrived at Les Antiquaries to find that our hotel manager had already called ahead and told the waiters that we were coming and to treat us right. We got mushroom risotto and a salad with pancetta, fried goat cheese balls, bacon and pesto. You have to visit this restaurant! It's delicious and the atmosphere is really neat.

I fell deeply in love with Paris, and I hope you fall in love with it as well. For all of you who were wondering, I stayed at the Hotel Verneuil, which is a wonderful place to stay. It's tucked away a little, but it's right in the center of Paris, so everything is must a mile or two away. Here's some pictures of our room and the hotel:

Paris is a wonderful place to visit, and I hope I have given you some good ideas on where to visit and what to check out. There's a lot of other wonderful places to visit in Paris, but we only had a few days to knock all of our destinations out. Hopefully you'll have a little more time and will check out some of the places I listed. Au revior!